absmiddle 死後的比爾蓋茲


[揮毫] Randy@Palmarama (呆呆的眼神...): "Bill Gates in Afterlife" -- from http://www.creativelement.com/win95ann/ jackei@Maxwell (逸容)翻譯 比爾蓋茲死後被送到等候轉世的房間。負責接待的聖彼得跟他說:「你可以先跟 著我看看,再告訴我你要上天堂還是下地獄。」比爾同意了。彼得彈彈手指,馬上就來 到了有著豔陽的海灘前。一堆人跳舞、游泳、打海灘排球,享受著美味的食物,動聽 的音樂,看起來真是棒極了。比爾很驚訝:「哇!天堂還真是不錯」彼得說道:「這不 是天堂,這是地獄。想看看天堂嗎?」比爾點頭說好,接著來到了一個幽靜的公園, 一些老人坐在長凳上餵鳥,陣陣微風輕輕地吹來顯得相當的寧靜安詳。彼德問比爾: 「怎樣?決定好了嗎?」比爾想了想:「嗯...好,如果天堂就是這樣,那麼我要到地獄去」 一瞬間,比爾的脖子以下都陷入了炙熱的火山熔岩中,空氣中充滿著其它人受盡折磨 的慘叫。他抬頭往上看,彼得正在接待室裡。比爾大叫:「嘿!!怎麼會這樣?沙灘呢?比 基尼女郎呢?那些舞會呢?」 彼得從他的麥金塔電腦回過身來說:「喔,那只是DEMO版」 [原文] Bill Gates died. He was sent to the Afterlife Waiting Room. He was met by St. Peter, who asked him if he wanted to go to Heaven or Hell, and if he'd like to see them before he decided. Bill said yes, and St. Peter snapped his fingers. They appeared on a sunny beach, with people dancing, swimming, and playing volleball. Just basically having a wonderful time. Good food, good music, good people. Bill turns to St. Peter and says, "Wow, Heaven is great!" St. Peter says, "This isn't Heaven, it's Hell. Want to see Heaven?" Mr. Gates nods yes, and they appear in a shady park, with a few old people sitting on benches feeding birds. A gentle breeze blows by, and all is quiet and serene. St. Peter asks Bill, "Well, which would you like?" Bill thinks for a minute,and says, "Well, if this is Heaven, then I'll take Hell." Instantly, he was plunged up to his neck in red-hot lava, the screams of other tortured souls filling his ears. He looks up, and sees St. Peter in the waiting room. Bill calls out to him, and said, "Hey! What's going on? Where's the beach? The bikini-clad women? The party?" St. Peter turns from his Macintosh to face Bill, and says, "That was just the demo."
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