"Bill Gates in Afterlife" -- from http://www.creativelement.com/win95ann/
Bill Gates died. He was sent to the Afterlife Waiting Room. He was met by
St. Peter, who asked him if he wanted to go to Heaven or Hell, and if he'd
like to see them before he decided. Bill said yes, and St. Peter snapped
his fingers. They appeared on a sunny beach, with people dancing, swimming,
and playing volleball. Just basically having a wonderful time. Good food,
good music, good people. Bill turns to St. Peter and says, "Wow, Heaven is
great!" St. Peter says, "This isn't Heaven, it's Hell. Want to see Heaven?"
Mr. Gates nods yes, and they appear in a shady park, with a few old people
sitting on benches feeding birds. A gentle breeze blows by, and all is quiet
and serene. St. Peter asks Bill, "Well, which would you like?" Bill thinks
for a minute,and says, "Well, if this is Heaven, then I'll take Hell."
Instantly, he was plunged up to his neck in red-hot lava, the screams of
other tortured souls filling his ears. He looks up, and sees St. Peter in
the waiting room. Bill calls out to him, and said, "Hey! What's going on?
Where's the beach? The bikini-clad women? The party?"
St. Peter turns from his Macintosh to face Bill, and says, "That was just